An Open Letter to The Colbert Report

I've always been a very large fan of The Colbert Report.  I typically watch the previous night's episode each morning while I eat breakfast.  (I make breakfast while watching The Daily Show.)  I always think Colbert has fantastic insights into things, but last week, I feel he got it wrong.  I explain why in this open letter to his show.  I doubt they'll ever read it; that's part of the hypocrisy I'm talking about, but I hope others will, and eventually this will change.

An Open Letter to The Colbert Report:

I never thought it would be possible for me to be angry with Colbert and his staff until I saw this episode.  I am normally a HUGE fan of Colbert.  I literally watch it every morning on the internet while I eat my breakfast, and I repost a lot of videos for others to see.  But this is one time I have to cry both “bullshit” and “hypocrisy” to the Colbert Report.

I am an author who has been using Amazon to independently publish my books.  I chose to do this because the agents and publishers I approached were typically interested in the bottom line; how much money they could make, and they barely considered the quality of the material.  They acted like the very idea of integrity was a naïve and childish ideal, and were only looking to maximize their profits.

For example, I have a book right now that I pitched to publishers, and they told me I couldn’t submit to them, I had to go through an agent.  When I went to the agents, I was told by many of them that they didn’t want it because it’s the true story of an Italian American who was a hero on the side of the law, and only stories about Italian Americans as criminals will sell in large numbers.  They even admitted that this story would sell, just not enough to make them the profits they wanted.  These agents offered me the chance to write about criminal Italian Americans, but I refused.  One non-fiction book of mine actually was with a publisher and the editor asked me to change the facts to make it more exciting and dynamic.  When I refused, I was dropped from the company.  The excuse in all of these cases is that it’s strictly a business concerned only with making money.

As such, I’ve been independently publishing so as to make better books, and they have been reviewed almost entirely with 4 and 5 stars.  They are also about subjects that are interesting to readers, such as the largest bank robbery in history, and the story which caused Stephen King to become a horror writer.  However, despite all this, shows such as The Colbert Report will not even consider having me on as a guest.  Their reason is because they have a policy against bringing guests who are “self-published.”  This is very disappointing, as it would help me, and many other first time and independent authors greatly.  But business is business, I suppose.

Now Stephen and his staff are experiencing something similar as their book is being blocked on Amazon.  Welcome to our world, Stephen.  It sucks when you’re trying real hard and a company that could help you out a great deal creates a policy that blocks you out, doesn’t it?  He, the staff, and his publisher want us to feel sorry for them, and get mad at Amazon for singling them out.  I might have some sympathy for them if they didn’t have similar policies in place that block independent authors from getting out their messages.  Amazon is trying to maximize their profits, just like the publishers, just like the agents, just like The Colbert Report.  Business is business.  If they want to criticize Amazon for that, then they need to stop doing exactly the same thing.

What really made me mad here is when he tried to pretend it wasn’t for best sellers like him and JK Rowling, but rather for the little guy, the authors just starting out with their first books.  It’s one thing to say you’re angry that you’re blocked by Amazon, Stephen and company, but don’t invoke the names of us struggling authors.  If you want to help us, remove the policy that blocks independent authors from coming on your show and make decisions based on quality rather than just who we know, and how much we’re willing to sell out.

I realize that this opens a sort of flood gate to a huge number of authors, probably more than your staff could handle; so what I would recommend is that you allow authors to send in a one paragraph, or even perhaps one sentence description of their books from which to make a list, then have an employee go through that list to find appropriate guests.

As it currently stands, your criticism of Amazon, while partially valid, is extremely hypocritical.  And it’s wrong to say it’s for us when it’s really for you.  Even if I support you on this crusade of yours, tomorrow my books will still be sold on Amazon, (who has been supportive of me and other independent authors all along,) and you still won’t even consider me as a guest on your show.

It’s very clear who’s really supporting independent authors, and those who are just getting started.

I want to close by reiterating that I love The Colbert Report, even knowing they refuse to consider having me or any independent author on the show.  I will continue to watch, and I will follow when he goes to CBS.  I hope his staff will go, too.  Even though I resent their policy of blocking independent authors, they create some of the best content on television and the web, and the show is one of the best sounding boards for reason and sanity in our country.  I hope that they will reconsider their policies on who can and cannot be considered to be guests, but in the meantime, I will continue to be a fan.

I’m just not going to take part in this very hypocritical stand they’re currently making.