Why Watching Online Movie Critics Makes Me Feel Better

Some of the most popular channels on Youtube are movie critics.  Their rise has come because of how much a producer could get with the smaller investment.  A content creator can tape him or herself in a room, or even just record their voice, and let the clips of the movies provide the higher production value.  Since these movies have their own marketing departments, audiences already know what they are.  And since Youtube worked out a fair use clause to utilize movie footage, they could air their reviews and even monetize them.

In some ways I feel guilty for watching so many of these shows rather than searching harder for more original content by people who are willing to take the risk and not ride on the coattails of premade products.  However, I've found that there's something very cathartic about watching the critics slam on bad movies.  There were obvious reasons for this, but as I got to thinking about it, there were more reasons for me that go beyond the usual viewer.

When my own scripts and projects got rejected, I was willing to accept that there could be something better.  Whatever they did choose would probably be a better film, something that I would aspire to with my own writing.  Whenever a film got accepted into a festival mine didn't get into, I thought the same thing.  Then I would watch them...

My discouragement came from the fact that there was nothing to look up to; nothing to aspire to.  What I had presented may not have been perfect, but it was certainly better than what they were choosing.  Added to my frustration was the fact that I was then told that no, I was wrong.  The production companies, studios, and film festivals were right in their choices.  After all, they were the ones in power.  They made more money than me.  Their careers were going great.  They're right and I'm wrong.

Channels like Nostalgia Critic, Lindsay Ellis, Red Letter Media, and Your Movie Sucks beg to differ.  In fact, they've specifically taken on some of the movies that I got rejected in favor of.  Being outside of the industry, they feel no need to conform, or kiss the ass of anyone "important."  They actually scoff at Hollywood's self-importance.

THAT is cathartic.  It may not give me a career or change Hollywood, but it definitely makes me feel better to see movies that are objectively bad and producers who believe they're right about everything get called out on their bullshit.

The Screenplay Formula and Why Movies are so Homogenized

You might hear a lot of people question why so many movies have such a similar tone; as if they're all of the same genre, or made by a few filmmakers with exactly the same tastes.  You may have noticed this yourself and added your voice to the plethora of bloggers, vloggers, and other fans who have expressed their frustrations at how all movies seem alike now.

This might seem a bit like the old man going, "it' ain't like the good ol' days," but there's a strong truth to it, and a reason for it.  As an example, when Star Wars and Star Trek movies came out in the late '70s and early '80s, there was a strong distinction between them.  You went to Star Wars and got an action packed adventure.  You went to Star Trek and got an intriguing mystery.  Even the action scenes were completely different.  In Star Wars you got fast cuts with small ships or individuals shooting rapid fire shots at one another.  In Star Trek you had longer wide shots of large ships laboriously turning on one another while their crews discussed the best way to win.

Neither style was better.  It was like going to a restaurant.  No one wants the same food every day.  If you want Mexican food, you go to a Mexican restaurant.  If you want Italian food, you go to an Italian restaurant.  You switch it up to have a variety.  Hell, even films made by the same director had very different feels.  Take for instance Spielberg's Raiders of the Lost Ark versus Jaws.  Their tone and style was so different that they seem like they're made by completely different filmmakers.

But now you could replace the title of one film with another and hardly anyone would notice.  In computer gaming terms, it's like changing the skins.  So what caused this?  Well, there are numerous theories, and I'm sure many of them have truth as any subject of this magnitude will naturally have a lot of answers.  But I've come to believe there's one overall reason.

Screenplay formulas.

For decades, filmmakers and theorists have been trying to narrow down what makes a film "work."  Understanding this will cause filmmaking to be less risky, and solve psychological mysteries of taste.  So people set about writing books on screenwriting, observing what has been respected and loved in movies, and trying to capture the reason for the magic in them.  The result of all this research was a multitude of formulas.  Books from Adventures in the Screen Trade to The Foundations of Screenwriting to Story to the Writer's Journey all try to identify the genie in the bottle.

These books do provide a basis for good practices in screenwriting.  For instance, they remind a writer to not linger too long in their introduction of the characters and the situation.  They provide guidance on moving the plot forward, and ideas for creating dynamic story beats.  These are positive guidelines to follow.

However, somewhere along the way people started taking these books as rules rather than guidelines.  Rather than suggesting that the screenwriter shift into the second act before the audience gets bored, the screenwriter is now required to move onto the inciting incident by page 15, no exceptions!  Rather than the third act being a point at which the characters focus on their goals, it MUST follow the lowest point of their lives, where they were worse off than when they began the story, and the antagonists must now move in on them.  NO EXCEPTIONS!

Let's put 2001, A Space Odyssey to this test.  The opening of this movie, which is widely considered a classic, even by those who swear by the formulas, follows a group of apes, none of whom are main characters in the rest of the movie.  We get an entire story about them, and how they discover the monolith, which takes us into the main part of the story.  This story does involve the character getting into a worse and worse situation until things are really bad for him.  But he's still reaching his goal, and no conscious villain is closing in on him.  Ultimately, he doesn't have a dramatic ending where his heroic action saves or destroys the day.  He experiences something that speaks to the existence of humanity.

This movie fails the formula test in every way possible.  Hell, even Star Wars would fail as it doesn't introduce its main character until nearly 20 minutes into the film; a major taboo in screenwriting formulas.

But somewhere along the way, I believe in the mid to late '80s, the industry became populated by people who saw these formulas as indispensable.  This belief has permeated every nook and cranny of the industry.  Not only do producers believe in the formula, but so do their assistants, (who must if they want to keep a job,) and executives and agents and people who run film festivals, and people who decide what gets accepted into festivals.  In short, the gatekeepers to the industry all worship the formula, and anyone who does not conform is kept out.

And thus, films have become very homogenized because filmmakers are not allowed to do anything different if they want careers.

The Hypocrisy of the Academy Award Popular Film Category

This year the Academy Awards tried to add the popular film category; an attempt to appease viewers that ultimately got mocked and failed.  This category is widely seen to have been added because of two things: the popularity of Black Panther, a bandwagon upon which the Academy wanted to jump without actually considering it for best picture, and lower ratings of the show in general.

I'm actually not going to talk about whether or not Black Panther deserves to win, or even a nomination.  It was a very good movie, and it also had some glaring flaws.  Most of all, though, the whole subject of its merit brings out the absurdity of what a "best picture" is.  Can we really declare a single movie to be the best when there are so many genres and styles?  Isn't it like comparing apples and oranges to a degree?

But what I find particularly ludicrous is the hypocrisy that created this apparent need for a popular category.  The idea that something popular needs a separate category from best implies that if something makes a lot of money, it is inherently inferior to something that doesn't make a lot of money.  While certainly the motivation for wealth can be separate from the motivation for art, the idea that something that is popular can't be great is the very wrongful thinking that caused Hitchcock to never win a regular award, and why one eluded Spielberg for so long.

But what of you, Academy Awards?  Isn't the major reason why you're doing this so you keep your audience?  We all hear you every time you complain that the audience numbers are shrinking.  If the Academy Awards really believed that art and commerce are so separate, why are they so concerned with their own ratings?  It seems to me that if you're going to frown upon popular films that make money and smugly hold films that don't on a pedestal, then you shouldn't be so concerned about your own wealth.

But if ratings are so important, maybe stop looking down on those producers who are literally doing the exact same thing as you.

Relic Worlds 3, Part 3 Has Now Released

The final serialized part of Relic Worlds book 3 has finally released and is available on Amazon.

Over the past year I've been releasing parts of the latest Relic Worlds book as a serialized trilogy.  Part 1 was in April, part 2 was in July, and now is part 3.  It's also going to be released on other mediums over the next couple days, such as Drivethru, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and others through Smashwords.

As part of this whole push, I'm also going to be releasing the other books on these sites.  Many of them have been exclusively on Amazon, but I haven't noticed much better sales there, so I'm sending them out to everywhere else.

I'll be combining all three parts for a full release in January as an ebook and a paperback.

You can find everything at our website: www.relicworlds.com

A Reasonable Discussion of The Last Jedi - Part 10

            At last we come to the final act.  All the stories have come together and landed on Hoth... I mean, a completely different planet because Rian Johnson made it clear we are supposed to let go of the past.
            To be fair, it is a very clever world.  I once filmed my own movie in a ghost town just off the Salton Sea.  The sea had overflowed into the town, then dried up, leaving only the salt behind.  Just beneath the surface was a soggy, blood red clay.  It gave off an ominous, semi-horrifying appearance.  This could really make for an interesting environment.  Rian Johnson and his cinematographer make the best of this location, creating some of the most beautiful images ever put into a Star Wars movie.

            Unfortunately, the story doesn't live up to it.  First, it continues to copy Empire by having literally the same AT-AT's walk slowly toward the rebel base while a line of infantry fire useless shots at them and a bunch of air speeders fly out to defend it.  Again, I'm less offended by this series of choices than I am by the fact that Rian smugly told us to let go of the past while he clearly clings to it like a safety blanket.

            When Fin lined up to sacrifice himself for the cause, I felt a little bad because I wanted to see John Boyega do more than they had let him do in this movie.  But it would be a truly heroic death scene.  When Rose ran into him, I at first was a little relieved.  He'll be able to do something more.  But when I found out it was on purpose... and her reason...

            Basically they turned her into a little girl talking about war.  Her views are naive and immature.  This belief that you fight for what you love, not kill what you hate is admirable, the type of thing we all go "awww" when a five year old says it.  But adults understand that unfortunately, when evil people are set on killing us, we have no choice but to try to kill them before they can continue to kill us.

            I'm sure all those people who stormed Normandy Beach would rather be saving those they love back home rather than trying to kill the ones they hate.  But they understood that this was the only way to stop the killing, and they sacrificed themselves for the greater good.  Rose's naive line is a slap in the face to anyone who made that sacrifice.

            And what makes this line so particularly crazy is the fact that she says it literally as the big gun shoots the front entrance, thus dooming the ones they love to death.  It's almost like Rian Johnson realized his own hypocrisy at this moment and pointed it out, but he didn't do anything more about it but add a kiss.

            At last, with all hope lost, Luke Skywalker enters to save the day.  This gave me hope that it would all wrap up with something amazingly memorable.  It was incredibly touching to see Luke and Leia together at last.  This literally brought a tear to my eye; not just because of the Luke and Leia reunion, but because Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher were such good friends.  Seeing them connect one last time was absolutely special.  For a moment I was glad they didn't kill Leia off on the ship.  Story-wise, it would have made a lot more sense, but that was such a beautiful scene between the two that I no longer gave a damn.

            Then the music starts marching triumphantly to the beat of Luke's feet walking out to face Kylo Ren.  It is on, and the boy in me is getting pumped up.  The shots of him striding out on the field to meet those AT-ATs are spectacular.  We have waited decades to see what the Jedi are capable of.  The originals had mere shadows of the Jedi.  The prequels showed us the Jedi, but now Luke is supposed to be the chosen one, the height of what the Jedi could achieve.  Vader had said in the original that the power of the Death Star was insignificant next to the power of the force.  That's saying a lot, that a literal planet killer is nothing compared to a force wielder.

            Now we're going to see why.

            Then the AT-ATs fire.  I'm not going to lie, it looked cool because of all that red thrown up from beneath the salt.  And as the dust settles and Luke comes out dusting off his shoulder, again, I have to be honest, I laughed.  I laughed because I was excited.  This is the power of the Jedi, something more powerful than a planet killer.  Kylo's going to have to go down and face him.  This is going to be awesome.
            Now, to be honest, I did see an idea later that would have worked better.  How it Should Have Ended did this scene with Luke freezing all the laser bolts in the air, then he deflects them back at the AT-ATs, destroying them.  This not only would have been an awesome show of power, but it would also have brought something around full circle from Force Awakens.  The first power we see Kylo use is to freeze a laser bolt in the air.  This would have harkened back to that, shown that Luke can do it with a lot more laser bolts, thus showing his dominance over Kylo, and it would have revealed that Kylo learned this skill from Luke, the man who was about to kick his ass.

            But oh well, now we get to see this duel between two titans, great sword play and force powers to be used against one another.  This is going to be great.  Inside the Resistance base, not much made any sense.  They had to figure out that they needed to get out, even though Luke could have told them he was stalling the bad guys.  And for some reason they can't find the back exit, even though they're the ones who freakin' built the damn...

            Okay, back to the battle between the two force wielders.  It looks great.  The cinematography is awesome.  They could be using their powers a bit more, but whatever.  The lines are a bit cheesy, but it's the two best actors in the movie, so whatever.  Then Luke looks like he's going to sacrifice himself as Obi-wan did.  Well, I wish I'd had more saber battle, but whatev...

            Luke turns out to be projecting himself.  Okay, that made this fight a bit more lame because the personal stakes were gone.  But it means Luke will be coming back in the next movie.  That's the one positive element to him not actually being there.

            Then he dies anyway.  What... the... fuck.

            Look, if you're going to kill someone off, you might as well do it as dramatically as you can.  Think of when Obi-wan died right in front of Luke.  He screamed in horror and chaos broke loose.  Think of when Han died and Chewy screamed in agonized sadness.  Imagine that same sort of thing but Leia is watching; all of the Resistance is watching.  That could be so dramatic.

            But no, he instead just fades away on some rock.  It literally reminded me of a joke my girlfriend and I had been telling where we'd see a movie, and then during the credits we'd say, "And then he died of a staph infection."  Here is one of the most iconic characters in cinematic history, and they literally have him, as General MacArthur said of old soldiers, just fade away.

            Ugh.

            And with him fading away, so too did my interest in Star Wars.  I was left depressed, realizing that the guy who created this would be doing the new trilogy, and the guy who set up all the problems in it would be completing this trilogy.  The Last Jedi made more than two billion dollars and was the most well reviewed Star Wars film of all time, so why should they care what I thought?  It was like the commercials for Abrams' Star Trek atrocity, "This isn't your father's Star Wars."  It certainly isn't.  I held a torch for this series for decades, hoping it would one day live up to the potential it always had that I feel was never realized.  And now I won't ever see it.

            Oh well.  I'll just have to tell my own version through RPG games and fan fiction.  Plus, the first two original films and Rogue One can always inspire me to make great stories of my own.

A Reasonable Discussion of The Last Jedi - Part 9

            The idea of arms dealers selling to both sides was actually a very good idea.  It's a statement of the real world without being too direct, and it builds out the Star Wars universe in a dynamic way.  What's more, this could have led us to the explanation of how the First Order formed.  We could have followed the money to find out that the First Order is really just made up of investors wanting to build up a conflict to make money.

            To be fair, the movie might be implying that.  But I say might because there's no firm evidence that this is what they're saying.  We see that they sell weapons to the First Order and the Resistance, (apparently not to the Republic, adding to the confusion of that whole situation,) but this implies that there's already a conflict that the arms dealers are exploiting, not creating.  So it's yet another missed opportunity for the filmmakers to explain to us what the whole conflict is about.

            But on to the dreadnaught, and the return of Phasma.

            I think everyone was excited by the prospect of a special stormtrooper who stands out from the rest.  Phasma had the potential of giving us an insight into the common soldiers of the Empire... I mean First Order, while also standing out in a unique way.  It looked like she might be the Boba Fett of this season.

            Then she turned out to be too much of the Boba Fett of this season.  See, while Boba Fett looked awesome and started off with outthinking the heroes, he was killed off unceremoniously in his second film.  Now we have a character who appears once, says some threatening things, then turns out to be useless.  She then returns, says some threatening things, and turns out to be useless.

            First, after capturing Fin and Rose... well, not capturing, but coming in and ordering everyone around once they've captured them, she then decides to have them executed in the slowest way possible.  She claims that it will be slower and more painful, but when you look at the way they're going to do it, beheading, it will be much faster than a blaster to the chest.  If they were going to slowly slice their heads off, okay, that's painful.  But the stormtroopers lift the axes over their heads, and...

            And why is Phasma even here, anyway!  She lowered the shields of the Star Killer Base!  If she somehow got out of the member berries trash compactor, and somehow got off the planet, she's not going to retain her rank!

            Sorry, I had to get that out of my system.  So anyway, the fleet gets sliced up by the Resistance ship going to light speed...

            Quick note about that.  I actually don't have a problem with a ship going to light speed destroying another ship.  It's well established that ships in hyperspace can be affected by things in our universe, ("fly to close to a star, or bounce off of a supernova...") and there's no arguing the shots look amazing.  But it was one ship.  When you look at the Imperial fleet, all of the ships are destroyed by this.  Unless they're lined up one in front of the other, I don't see how that's possible.

            Anyway, back to Phasma.  Wait, she's already been killed again?  Damn, she was hardly there.  But not before the heroes try to shoot her, but their shots bounce off her armor...

            Wait!  If the shots bounce off her armor, why was she concerned about Han shooting her during Force Awakens.  She literally lets in the Resistance to destroy her planet because he had a pistol to her head which was apparently useless.  Man, she must feel awful about that.

            So that's all I'm going to say about Phasma.  If they don't care enough about her to give her an actual story, then why should I?

A Reasonable Discussion of The Last Jedi - Part 8

            Let me take a step back and point out something that was both a great direction for Star Wars to go, and the biggest insult to the fan base.  Some of the best scenes involved Kylo and Rey talking to each other while she's on the island.  Neither one seems completely in control, and they're both trying to work out their places in the galactic events happening around them.  It's unique, it's emotional, and it all makes sense.

            And when Kylo says to Rey, "Let the past die, kill it if you have to," it's such a curious thing.  First we have to acknowledge that he's not really saying it to her.  It's not really particularly appropriate under the circumstances.  They're talking about her family history, and while it's completely appropriate for him to say she needs to let that go, to say she should "let it die" and she should "kill it" is such overkill... No pun intended.  The appropriate response to that would be, "overdramatize much there, Kylo?"  So no, he's not really talking to Rey there.

            He's talking to the audience.  He's telling us to let the past die, to "kill it if we have to."  Or is he telling that to JJ.  Again, this was a conversation they should have had before JJ began writing The Force Awakens.

            At any rate, this is a very curious thing to say.  I admire it, because I think there is too much clinging to the past.  We live in an era when people would rather recite or remake movies from the past rather than create something new.  There's constant rehashing of the '80s while they miss the very thing that made the '80s great; the fact that movies were original.  While there were some remakes and adaptations, most of the most classic movies that we admire today were original screenplays.  But now we either have mostly retreads, reboots, long-ago sequels, or movies that constantly refer to the past and pander to an older audience.

            So yeah, we could all use a dose of letting go of the past.  But there are two very important things to consider.

            First, if Rian Johnson really feels that way, why is he doing a sequel to a 40 year old movie franchise?  Why isn't he taking as big a risk as Lucas and creating something entirely fresh and new?  It's a little hard to take a speech about killing the past from someone who's keeping the past alive.

            Second, if we all wanted to kill the past, we wouldn't be in the theater watching this sequel to a 40 year old movie.  The very fact that we came means we're interested in continuing something from the past.  It can certainly go in new directions, and we hope it will.  But to kill it off entirely... well then you don't have a movie!

            It would have been very nice if Johnson and Abrams had discussed all of this before writing their movies because they come from such extreme ends of the spectrum that they probably would have compromised in the middle, right where it should be; utilizing elements of the past, while having a new vision of the future.  Too bad they didn't because now we have this constant tug of war rather than two great movies.

            So anyway, at last Kylo Ren and Rey face Snoke.  Along the way the movie sets up an expectation that this will be like Return of the Jedi. though you get the idea that something's going to go wrong with it.  Like Rose, Rey is basically a fan girl of Luke Skywalker, and she wants to reenact his dramatic turning of the ultimate evil person to good right in front of the Emperor... Or whatever the hell Snoke is supposed to be, but Kylo knows about this, too, and is going to have his guard up.

             It's not entirely a bad idea, but this is where Rian Johnson was clearly wrestling with himself.  He wanted to do something original and different, but he kept relying on the original series to set up scenes.  It's a bit hypocritical.

            That being said, I have to give it up to Snoke.  He's truly terrifying.  Not only is Andy Serkis's performance gripping, but his powers just come across as even more terrifying than the Emperor.  He lifts people in the air and tosses them around with only his mind.  He strikes lightning at... well, lightning speed.  And it has a powerful impact, throwing anyone near it across the room.  It truly feels like he can do some terrible damage to people.

            I'm really looking forward to learning more about this guy, and I'm figuring now will be the time that we learn who he is, and what the First Order is all about.  I don't need a whole complete back story.  I definitely don't need an entire movie about him.  I just want to know who the hell the bad guys are so I can understand what I'm supposed to be fearing and why.

            But then he's cut in half before we find out any of that.

            I've seen excuses for this claiming that it's okay because he's not the real villain, Kylo is.  Snoke, and some of the others, were just tools for them along the way.  And that's where their lack of vision is so disappointing.

            You see, one of the best quotes of all time in storytelling is that there are no small parts, only small actors.  This should be remembered by everyone who writes a story.  No character should be nothing but a tool.  That might be their eventual purpose, they might be there for the primary reason of boosting another character's story, but they should ALWAYS be a complete character.

            For example, in Infinity War, there's a magical sidekick to Thanos whose primary purpose is to build up his boss's plan.  But the writers STILL gave him his own motivations, his own reason for being involved in this overall story.  The writers for that film didn't use the excuse that he's just a tool to build up another character.  So when he's blown out the side of a ship, it has an emotional impact.

            And that's really what it comes down to; emotional impact.  It's okay that Snoke dies before the end, and it's okay that Kylo goes on to be the main bad guy.  But I need to give a shit.

            Think about how you felt when you saw King Joffrey killed in Game of Thrones.  Was it joy?  Surprise?  Horror?  All of the above?  Whatever you felt, you felt SOMETHING.  But if you claim to have felt something for Snoke's death, I'm calling bullshit, because there is nothing to feel.

            Everything Snoke did in both films was in regard to someone else.  Everything he said was about someone else.  He belittle Kylo and told him to do better.  He sent orders to Hux.  He referred to Han Solo, pronouncing each syllable like it was the most important letter in the alphabet.  He spoke of Rey, and wanted to find Luke.  But he never revealed anything about himself, or how and why he's built up this First Order we're supposed to fear.

            To be fair, the Emperor didn't explain how he created the Empire, but there are two things to consider here.  First, the basic concept of the original Star Wars didn't need the explanation.  It was first, and they just said the galaxy was run by a dictatorship.  And if these movies were all alone, the same would be true here.  But they have listed on them episodes 7 and 8, meaning they're part of a series, so they must answer to what came before.  And what was established before was that the Empire was taken down.  Therefore you must explain how it grew up again to understand it, and its leader.

            The moment that lightsaber ripped through him, all those answers were forever destroyed.  We would never learn who the hell these guys were and why we should fear them.  So much for Hitchcock's advice that your movie is only as good as your villain.

            The fight scene that comes next has one thing I have to say in its favor.  It's well shot from a camera point of view.  It matches the great cinematography and effects that play throughout this film.  However, when you watch the fight coordination closely, you'll notice the stunt people purposely having to miss Rey because she doesn't get out of the way in time, and Kylo once inexplicably stabs the floor between two enemies and nothing happens except they politely allow him to pull his lightsaber back up.  Rey, of course, masterfully wields her lightsaber despite still having never been trained in it.  Again, she's good with a staff, but as I said earlier, that doesn't really translate effectively.

            To be honest, though, that didn't bother me so much.  The next part really killed things; what's truly the litany of insults toward the fans.

            First, Kylo tells Rey that she comes from nothing.  This isn't really so bad at first glance.  In fact, I'm glad she's not a Skywalker.  I found the fan theories unendingly annoying.  She's a Kenobi.  She's a Skywalker.  She's a Palpatine.  How about something more original?  It's a fucking galaxy!  Not everyone has to be related!

            However, saying her family was nobodies who died on Jaku causes even bigger problems.  For one thing, we saw glimpses of her watching her parents fly away in a ship.  How did that happen if they were nobodies who stayed on Jaku?  Most importantly, though, why make such a big thing of it in the first film if it's going to turn out to be irrelevant?  It'd be like me saying, "Guess who I'm writing about next!  Guess who!  You'll never guess!  Oh, take a guess."  Then I said, "No one!"  You'd feel like I wasted your time, and I did.

            This goes back once again to JJ Abrams, who set up this whole concept, then left the mess for someone else to clean up and take the blame.  Rian Johnson's part was simply not coming up with something better to excuse Abrams' incompetence.

            But then they could have done something that might have made up for most of the problems; that could have truly been unpredictable and taken the story in a whole new direction, as Rian Johnson claimed he wanted.  Kylo tells Rey to go with him.  How cool would that have been?  How interesting would it be to have a third faction rather than just good versus evil?

            But nope.  By having Rey choose to go back with the rebels, Rian fell back into the very formula he pretended to be shrugging off.